Overcome Stage Fright With These 6 Simple Strategies

Your child has been practicing for weeks. They know their piece inside and out. But as recital day approaches, their excitement turns into nervousness, doubt, and maybe even tears.

Stage fright is completely normal, and even professional musicians feel it. The only difference is that they know how to manage it.

The good news is, with the right preparation and strategies, your child can step onto that stage feeling confident, prepared, and even excited to perform. 

In this guide, we’ll share:

• Easy ways to help your child calm their nerves before performing
• Simple at-home strategies to boost their confidence
• What to do if they make a mistake on stage (and why it’s no big deal!)

6 Tips to Help Your Child Reduce Recital Anxiety

Performing is an important part of music education, but some kids feel too nervous to step on stage. Stage fright doesn’t mean your child isn’t ready, it just means they care. The key is to channel that nervous energy into confidence with the right preparation.

Here are six simple strategies to help your child feel calm, focused, and excited before their recital:

1. Normalize Stage Fright: It’s Okay to Be Nervous

The first step to helping your child manage recital anxiety is letting them know it’s completely normal to feel nervous. Stage fright happens because the brain sees performing as a high-stakes situation. But with the right mindset, those nerves can actually help your kid focus.

What you can do is to acknowledge their feelings. Instead of saying “Don’t be nervous,” try:

• “Feeling nervous means you’re about to do something exciting!”
• “Everybody feels anxious before going on stage.”
• “Your job isn’t to be perfect, it’s to share your music and have fun.”

The next step is to show them proof. For example, you can watch this TikTok of Lorde talking about stage fright together. Seeing that even a Grammy-winning artist still gets nervous can calm them down.

Lastly, try to reframe their nerves as energy. Instead of saying “I hope I don’t mess up,” teach your child to say I’m excited to share my music.”

When kids see stage fright as a sign of passion rather than a problem, they’ll learn to embrace their nerves instead of fearing them.

2. Rehearse in a Mini-Recital at Home

One of the best ways to reduce stage fright is to turn the performance into a regular activity. The more your child practices in front of others, the less intimidating the actual recital will be.

The key is to start small and build up. Instead of jumping straight to a big audience, gradually increase the pressure in a supportive way.

For example, your first step to prepare for a recital can be to stage a mini-performance at home for a stuffed animal audience (perfect for smaller kids) or family members at dinner time. Make it feel like the real thing by having your child walk onto the “stage” (your living room works), bow, and introduce their song.

Next, record a video of their performance, then watch it together. Instead of focusing on mistakes, point out what went well to build their confidence.

If the mini-recital goes well, you can invite a few friends over for a casual performance. This step helps ease them into playing for an audience while keeping the atmosphere fun and low-pressure. 

3. Create a Pre-Performance Routine

Routines help kids feel calm and in control before a big event. By following the same steps before every practice and performance, your child will build a sense of familiarity and confidence for the recital day.

The key is to establish a simple pre-performance routine that helps them relax and focus. For example, you can:

• Play their favorite song (not the recital piece) to loosen up.
• Take five deep breaths to reset their focus.
• Do a quick stretch to release tension.
• Have them close their eyes and imagine hearing the audience clap at the end.
• Do a power pose for confidence (stand tall, hands on hips for 2 minutes).

Use this routine before lessons, practices, and the actual recital so it feels natural when the big day arrives.

4. Shift the Focus from Them to the Music

One of the biggest reasons kids feel stage fright is because they’re worried about being judged. But performing isn’t about them, it’s about the music they’re sharing. 

When children learn to focus on expressing the music rather than their own nerves, the pressure eases, and their confidence grows. Here’s how you can do that:

• Instead of saying, “Everyone will be watching you,” try: “Your job isn’t to impress people, it’s to share this beautiful music with them.”
• Ask your child, “If this piece was a movie soundtrack, what scene would it play in?” or “What emotions does this song bring out?”
• Encourage them to picture the audience enjoying the music rather than focusing on them.
• Have them play the piece for you and describe the feelings or images the music creates.
• Remind them that music tells a story and helps them connect with the song they’re playing.

Shifting the focus away from themselves and onto the music helps your child feel less pressure, more confidence, and more joy in their performance.

5. Have a Recovery Plan for Mistakes

Mistakes are a natural part of any performance. That’s why you can teach your child how to recover smoothly, so a small mistake doesn’t throw them off completely. When they know what to do if something goes wrong, they’ll feel more confident and less afraid of making errors.

You can normalize mistakes by explaining that even professional musicians make them and that the audience usually doesn’t  notice.

Here’s a simple game plan for handling mistakes:

• Teach them to keep going if they mess up like it was part of the song.
• Show them how to repeat the last correct note and continue naturally.
• Encourage them to smile and finish strong since a confident ending leaves a lasting impression.
• Practice on-purpose mistakes at home so they can get comfortable continuing smoothly.
• After a mistake, ask them what went well to shift their focus to their strengths instead of dwelling on errors.

6. Celebrate the Performance

The recital is over, but your child’s experience doesn’t end when they step off the stage. What happens next plays a huge role in building their confidence for future performances. 

Instead of focusing on mistakes, help them recognize their progress and celebrate the effort they put into preparing and performing. When kids associate recitals with a positive experience, they’ll feel even more motivated to perform again.

Start by highlighting what went well. Ask them “What part of your performance felt the best?” or “Did you notice how the audience clapped and enjoyed your music?”

If they mention a mistake, redirect their focus by reminding them that every performance is a learning experience. You can encourage them to think about what they’d like to improve next time, but only after celebrating what they did right.

Lastly, create a post-recital tradition to reinforce that performing is a positive, rewarding experience, no matter what. For example, you can go out for ice cream, have a fun family dinner, or let them pick the next song they want to learn.

Stage Fright is Just a Step Toward Growth

Every great musician has felt nervous before performing, but with the right mindset and preparation, your child can turn stage fright into confidence.

Use the tips from this article to help them feel more comfortable because every recital is a chance to improve, grow, and enjoy making music.

Want to give your child extra support? Sign up for a FREE trial lesson at San Ramon Academy of Music and help them build confidence with expert guidance.